


Try not to squirm, she'll know something is up

by dragonndoggod



Series: Trying something new won’t kill you, until your imagination runs wild [6]
Category: Red Dead Redemption, Sex Pistols | Love Pistols
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Explicit Language, Explicit Talk, F/M, M/M, Protectiveness, Sex Talk, Shirou explains what he likes, Shirou wants to be a part of the family, he'll do what it takes to protect john's happiness, shirou is protective, slight jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 12:15:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14934099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonndoggod/pseuds/dragonndoggod
Summary: Still in the throws of his heat, Shirou wasn’t expecting to get closer to Abigail.  The hopes of being welcomed into the family is what Shirou wants more than anything.OrAbigail figures out that he's attracted to John and has no problem with it.  No problem that he could see, anyway.





	Try not to squirm, she'll know something is up

**Author's Note:**

> I started the rough draft for this story almost 2 years ago (summer of 2016) and am just now sitting down to type it up. I don’t know what went wrong. 
> 
> Takes place right after How to deal with something that grabs a hold of you and you just want to bend over.
> 
> No beta, all mistakes are my own.

Shirou forced his expression to remain neutral the following morning, easily remembering the night before, of John pushing his hand away to take over the movement of his toy.  The overwhelming scent of John's pheromones had his eyes rolling back, making it even better was the fact the male was unknowingly releasing them. His bottom lip bitten enough to hold back the sounds that wanted to escape in the quiet night, the scrape of stubble against his skin had been enough to push him over the edge.

By the time he had fallen asleep, his seed caked along his stomach multiple times, drying and flaking by the time his eyes closed.  The last thing he felt was the anchoring hand that slowly rubbed back and forth along his skin in a comfort motion. It wasn't exactly what he wanted, to be bent over and taken.  To feel the older male's come inside him. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was enough.

When he woke hours later, body sore from the attention John had given.  The man had seemed curious about the toy, enjoying watching the way his body had accepted the push and pull of it, groans as the tip brushed up against his prostate.  Having to bite down on his lower lip to keep the loud cry down, chest heaving with every breath in anticipation of more. His blear eyes searched for the figure in the hopes that the returner to ancestry had stayed, had hoped that maybe, just maybe, John would crawl into the makeshift bed with him.

Now, it was just him in the barn, the sounds of birds chirping outside so early in the morning his only companions, not loud enough to cover up his sigh of disappointment.  Shirou knew he was looking too deep into whatever relationship that was growing between them. Setting himself up for disappointment in falling for a taken man, he pushed away the hurt and got up.  Stretching and reaching for his clothes before changing his mind and swapping them for slightly cleaner clothes.

As much as he wanted to sulk in his own pity party, Shirou knew he had work that needed to be done.  With his heat in the first few days, it should be enough of a distraction to keep John thinking about him.  Ignoring the rumbling of his stomach, he tucked away the toy and the Vaseline for later use that evening, knowing the he would be alone for the night.

Retrieving his horse from the pasture behind the barn, ready to feed the stallion when he caught the flaring of nostrils and the heavy shake of ahead.  The snort as the large animal sidestepped, the widening of eyes that rolled as he approached.

“I know boy,” Shirou smiled to himself, “we’ll find you a mare in season.  Or maybe a long, hard ride,” chuckling at his own joke, reaching out to scratch at the horse’s neck as he lead the horse to his feed.  Gathering everything he needed for the day, Shirou glanced once more at the bed, the memory of the night before burned into his memory.

___

Under the relentless blazing sun, not a cloud in the sky to offer any sort of temporary shade, Shirou gave a sharp whistle as he maneuvered his horse behind the slow moving here.  The animals snorting, snatching grass as they passed, moving towards the pasture.  The hopes of having the animals graze before the weather had a chance to turn ugly.  Nudging the blue roan gently with his heels, Shirou’s eyes darted from the back of the cows to the figure in the front.

Watching John sit comfortably in the saddle, being able to guide the horse with one hand like a professional while he himself was trying not to cringe at the sharp ache at each bounce.  In the back of his mind, he reminded himself that this was the price to pay for enjoying the night before a little too much. And if he were to be honest with himself, he would have preferred getting fucked to have that pain instead of his toy.  Tearing his gaze away from the fact that he hadn’t gotten his way, he surveyed the animals as they grazed in the open pasture. To the animals that seemed not to have a care other than feeding their calves and themselves.

His attention was pulled away from the animals by the low chuckle from John as he maneuvered his horse back towards him, another shift in his saddle and the amusement at his discomfort.  The chuckle at his expression, John’s face before he spoke up.

“Does it normally cause you so much discomfort?”  John asked, trying to cover up the curiosity. “Usually the women that like to do that tend to complain the next day.”

John didn't have to say the type of women that enjoyed such acts, at the requests of their customers.  Money was money, after all. And the women that wouldn't admit to such things to strangers.

“You seemed to get really into it, I-”  John turned his gaze away and for a brief moment, Shirou entertained the thought of catching color under the stubble on John's cheeks.

He couldn't help the curl of his lips.

“There’s pleasure for me,” Shirou offered, shifting in the saddle once more.  Ignoring the twinge of pain, licking at his bottom lip. “The thickness that stretches, pressing into me and the chance of making me come harder than I ever have.”

With his gaze turned away, looking towards the rolling hills, Shirou didn't catch the clenching of gloved hands.

“So you're saying that you've never had sex with a woman,” John asked, trying to keep his voice even.  There was no need to vocalize the sudden spark of jealousy, after all. He shouldn't have anything that resembled jealousy.

"I didn't say that," the wolf began, turning his gaze up to catch the flat look that John wore, before Shirou huffed out a sound that resembled a sigh before finally admitting the truth.

"Fine.  I never slept with a woman before.  Happy?" Shirou grumbled, chewing on the inside of his cheek as he fought back the embarrassment.  He could feel the heat quickly rising to his cheeks The shaking of shoulders was his clue that John was laughing at him.

Besides, you do know that there are several things that some women just won't do that I really enjoy," oh boy, he was just digging himself into a bigger hole.

"Really?  Like what?"  John didn't bother to hide his curiosity.  He couldn't pass up on he opportunity to find out what others enjoyed.  Watching with interest as Shirou glanced around, checking to see if others are around listening despite being out in the middle of nowhere with nothing but cattle around them.

"Well, guys know what they enjoy when they touch themselves, so when they touch me, it's usually with confidence.  Besides, I don't have to," Shirou swallowed, wondering briefly how he sunk so low to confess such desires, "convince them to eat me out."

Eyebrows narrowed as the older male thought about his words before he caught the curl of John's lips, though he was unsure if it was disgust or something different.  Going by the tone of John's voice that it was the former rather than the latter

"How can you enjoy something like that?"

"Don't you enjoy doing the same to Abigail?"  Shirou retorted, eyeing John and the expression that the returner to ancestry wore.

"Yeah, but-"

"Does she enjoy you doing that to her?  The pleasure that you give Abigail? I enjoy it too.  If you're thinking that the act is disgusting, I clean up," Shirou tried to explain, uncomfortable with how John was looking a him.  "I make sure I'm well ready, and let me tell you, it feel so good when someone does it to me.  Gets me all hot before they take me," Shirou caught the tightening of John's lips and the way dark eyes didn't wouldn't meet his.  It felt like a little victory in knowing that John didn't like him talking about past lovers. Deep down the knowledge made him smile, feeling the excitement building.

"You know how it is, right John?  When you're pushed to the edge and kept there, just wanting nothing more than to get fucked.  Or in your case, do the fucking," Shirou caught the fain snort and the toss of a horse's head, John turning his attention away from him to his horse that protested the squeezing of knees.

"Really, it's something I enjoy.  It's personal, almost like a connection with the other person.  The burn of stubble rubbing against my skin," Shirou shivered, remembering the last time he had someone go down for him.

"Just like you like getting our dick sucked, right?  I like that too," Shirou peered out from his lashes, "both, I mean."

He couldn't read John's expression, only seeing the frown and the sigh that came out as a hiss, a shake of a head at him.

"You're pulling one off of me about this, right?  None of that can't be real, can't be."

It was Shirou's turn to give the returner to ancestry's look.  Here he was baring his soul to what he liked, something that was personal to him and the man didn't believe him.  Clenching the reins in his hands tightly for a few seconds before loosening his grip, it wouldn't be any help to startle his horse.

"It's all true.  I can't speak for others, but I'm speaking for myself.  I know what I like, John.  Just because I haven't slept with a woman doesn't mean I can't enjoy sex," Shirou gave John half a shrug of his shoulders, swallowing down the fact that the older man didn't believe him.  Serves him right.

"I enjoy a lot of things, being bent over and," he could feel his cheeks heating up once more.

"After all that.  Everything you've just said and you're still embarrassed to say getting fucked?" John laughed, turning the horse back the way they had come, the view of Beecher's Hope in the far distance.

"Well, yeah.  The intimacy that it gives and the pleasure that is given," Shirou smiled to himself before continuing.  "Don't you have something that you enjoy so much that you want to have more?"

Mirroring John's actions, following the man back down the dusty road before them.

"Think about something forbidden, John.  Something you enjoy so much. And that you're trying to convince someone that what you enjoy isn't wrong.  It's not like I can talk to people about what I like, so I thought maybe you would understand."

Shirou eyed the older man briefly before taking a deep breath and dropping the subject.  John just wasn't going to see from his side and what he enjoyed. Letting the silence descend, Shirou would glance every so often at John.  Letting his thoughts take over, he didn't notice the approaching wagon and the lone woman that sat on the bench, steering the horses.

The call of a voice and the pull of reins as the horses came to a stop before them.

"There you two are," Abigail called out, glancing from John to Shirou before back to her husband.  Shirou caught the narrowing of her eyes before the woman sighed.

"I need one of you to come with me into town for some supplies as well as sell some of the hide that you collected."

"I'll go-" John started, getting ready to climb down from his saddle before Abigail gave a little laugh.

"Let me rephrase that, John," Abigail said with a kind smile, "it seems as though you've been hogging all of Shirou's attention as of late, so I thought this would be a perfect way to get to know him the way you have.  We haven't had a chance to talk.” The look that the older woman sent John, a quirk of an eyebrow and the nod of a head towards the empty wagon seat next to her..

“I won’t take up too much of his time, he’ll be back before you know it,” Abigail laughed at John’s expression.

“If you’re sure,” John hummed, his voice neutral though his eyes spoke volumes and Shirou could read what the older male was silently telling him.

Keep his mouth shut.

Swallowing past the growing lump in his throat, Shirou gave John a nod, dismounting from his horse and leading the animal to John, handing over the reins.  Turning to the wagon, Shirou took a deep breath and steadied himself before climbing up on the seat. Unable to stop himself from stiffening when she gave the reins a snap, urging the horses along.

A glance over his shoulder to the items in the bed of the wagon and figure that watched as they crested the hill before Shirou turned back to the rode.

“So, how have you been, Shirou?”  Abigail asked, glancing at him briefly before returning her gaze back to the road.

“I’ve been okay,” Shirou cleared his throat, trying to force a smile before letting it die.  He couldn’t let on that he desired Abigail’s husband in the most intimate way. “Haven’t been feeling too well lately.”

“I’ll say,” Abigail commented, steering the horses along the curve of the dirt road, shooting him a look out of the corner of her eye.  “You haven’t been feeling well enough to see John concerned over you, I noticed.”

Shirou avoided her gaze, guilt eating at him.  The woman beside him welcomed him into her home, allowed him to work and help.  Giving him a reason to continue and a place to call home.

“I may not be a educated woman, but I know the signs.  You like him, don’t you?”

Shirou could feel his world falling around him as his heart thudded heavily in his chest.  The rushing sound of blood in his ears, he had to answer.

Swallowing heavily, he nodded his head.  Pressing his palms against his thighs, struggling to stop the faint tremors that started.  He knew from the very beginning that these feelings-

“You don’t have to be afraid,” the gentle words and the hand that touched his shoulder.

“I understand, he is handsome,” the small smile on Abigail’s lips.  “He’s also charming. You’re not the first to fall for him, you know.  Most likely you won’t be the last. At least I know you won’t take him away- What?”  Abigail paused, pulling at the reins to stop the horses and look at him.

Avoiding her gaze, Shirou realized he still had a look of astonishment on his face.

“I can’t judge you for liking men, Shirou.  After all, what I did while growing up- what I had to do to survive,” Abigail sighed, looking down at her hands.  “It was a hard life, following the gang. You do things to insure that you’re safe,” the small smile that had been on Abigail’s lips turned downward.  “Even if it makes your skin crawl, you do what you have to, So,” a shrug of her shoulders, giving the reins a snap once more to get the horses moving.

“Everyone is going to judge you, everyone is going to have an opinion of you, even if they don’t know you.  Watch,” she commented as their wagon approached Blackwater. The few residents that had been working, their chores forgotten as they watched them passby.  Two brave souls waved, but the rest drew their brows and muttered under their breath.

“See?” Abigail raised her hand to motion to those that were borderline hostile.

“They don’t know me, Shirou.  They’re on the belief of what some lose lipped person revealed and they came to their own conclusion.  So now, they think I’m gonna just waltz right up to them and off a quick fuck. Or that I’m after their husbands.”  

The tight press of lips and the huff of air that told Shirou of her anger, cheeks blazed with color while hands clenched tightly.

“I know what I’ve done in the past isn’t up to people's standards, but they don’t know what I have done.  They don’t know me, you or what others have gone through, but they don’t care.”

A deep breath and a rough chuckle, a look thrown to Shirou and had him smiling along with Abigail.

“Don’t change, Shirou.  Don’t let them try to change you or force you to be anything other than yourself.”

Shirou took a deep breath, feeling the courage that Abigail was showing him.  He was still nervous that Abigail had quickly figured out his feelings for John.

“You know,” Shirou began sitting upright, his gaze focusing on those that waved, smiling at the friendliness that they shown.  “You’re one of the strongest women I know, not that I know many women,” Shirou chuckled at the snort Abigail gave him.

“But the few women that I know or come across, the strongest are the ones that push on and do what they have to do to live.”

Tipping his head back and closing his eyes, Shirou took a deep breath.  Everything he himself went through paled in comparison to what Abigail had to go through.

“I cannot imagine what you went through.  The women, ones that are weak and petty, taking jabs.  They’re the one that don’t know the meaning of having to fight to live and to depend on themselves to stay safe.  And the men,” Shirou gave a shrug of his shoulders as he straightened up, “they’re afraid of strong women. Afraid of someone they can’t control.  My- uh,” he swallowed.

“My mom was like that, strong and not afraid to tell others.  Wasn’t the normal that others were used to and that caused friction.  Your strength reminds me of her strength.”

A sound of agreement, the color that touched her cheeks.

“Thank you, it feels good to speak about stuff like this.  I don’t tell John that it bothers me, though I think he somehow knows.”

Shirou’s smile falters for a moment before agreeing.

“He knows more than he likes to let on,” Shirou murmured, watching as more of the town opened up.

“I can see why he likes you,” Abigail commented, guiding the wagon to the general store, the horses coming to a gentle stop.  “Don’t let John know, but he enjoys your company. It’s nice knowing that John has someone other than me and Jack that he can confide to,” Abigail gave him half smile.

“I know you,” the drawl that was on the side of drunkenness as a figure stumbled out of the alley and towards the wagon.  “You’re that woman that fucks people, how about you give me some of that? I’ll pay you,” the giggle and leer that was followed by a belch.  A hand that grabbed at the crotch.

Curling his lip in disgust, feeling Abigail stiffen beside him.  Calming himself, he gave Abigail a small smile and a nod of his head.

“Why don’t you finish your errands while I deal with this-” Shirou paused as he struggled to find the words he needed to describe the man before him.

“Alright, I guess I’ll meet you later,” Abigail said after a moment, giving him a questioning look as he climbed down from the seat.

Shirou didn’t wait for the wagon to pull away, putting his hand on the man’s shoulder and giving him a shove away from the street, towards the mouth of the alley.  The usual tight control that he had on his soul slipped, giving the man a smile that was just on the edge of teeth.

“I’m going to take a wild guess that you’re not a decent human,” Shirou said, observing the man that had attempted to proposition Abigail.  “The day isn’t half over and here you are, drunk. Harassing someone who has done nothing to you.  And yet, you feel as though you have every right to it.”

The slow blink from the man, a shake of a head as the man stumbled backwards, sliding down the wall to the ground, holding his head in his hands with a low moan.  Shirou smiled to himself and knelt down, just a foot from the man. If any of Madararui blood were to walk by, they would easily notice a wolf staring down a man. They’d avoid the area like the plague, even those that lacked the sense to see his soul would scurry away in a hurry.

Shirou was lucky in the way that no one bothered to walk by and notice.

“Why are you acting like something’s wrong?”  He asked, his tone conveyed nothing but contempt.  Disgust at this human, someone that was beneath him.

“Feels like my head is in a vice,” the slurring held no hint of the drunkenness from earlier.  “Like it’s gonna explode. P-please, ma-ma-make it stop.” The begging and tears prodded at his heart.  He wasn’t a monster.

Huffing out a breath, Shirou pulled back his soul.  There were times being a heavyweight type came in handy, forcing a regular person to comply was something he didn’t like to do.

“You’re a monster,” the man managed to get out, pressing further back against the wall.

Giving the man a half shrug, he couldn’t deny it if it got the man to listen to him.

“I maybe a monster, but I will do whatever it takes to protect what I consider mine,” Shirou leaned forward, ignoring the scent of urine.  Monkeys usually urinate themselves when he forced his soul towards them. “So listen to me and listen good. I consider Abigail, the woman you insulted, my family.  What you’ve heard and what she did in her past? It doesn’t matter to no one but herself. It’s none of your business, understand?”

The man stared at him through unfocused eyes, nodding while breathing heavily.

“Just to let you know, if I ever find out that you even dare to approach Abigail in anyway, well- let’s just say that I will do whatever it takes to protect her and her family.  Do you understand?”

Shirou let his words sink in, smiling once more when the man opened his mouth, attempting to speak before nodding once more.

“In fact, why don’t you just treat everyone you meet with respect?  It’ll save you a headache in the future. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to experience that pain every again, right?”

Pushing himself up to his feet, stepping back just as the man emptied his stomach, covering not just the clothing he wore but the ground as well.  Moving towards the mouth of the alley, Shirou paused and looked over his shoulder to the man and the mess that he had made.

“If you consider me a monster, that’s fair.  And I’ll admit that I will become a monster to protect what- those that I care for.  If it brought ruin to me, I’m okay with that, as long as they’re safe.”

Shirou stepped back onto the street, seeing the wagon and Abigail talking to the store owner.  The smile that was on her face and her body language, she didn’t need his help. Abigail could take care of herself.  Of course she had told him so and he could see what John love’s about her.

Chuckling to himself, Shirou knew that if he wasn’t so taken with John, he could easily see himself falling for Abigail.  But here he was, falling in love with Abigail’s husband.

Pulling off his glasses to wipe away the sweat that was beading on his forehead, knowing his mating season was in full swing.  Uncomfortable not only in the heat but in his own skin, Shirou wished he could just go back home. Back to the bed and the toy that he could pretend was John.

Glancing over to the Saloon and then back to the General store, he didn’t have enough time to get a drink and be back in time to catch a ride to Beecher’s Hope.  Still, the thought of spending the night alone in the barn with nothing but the toy, hoping that John would show up wasn’t very appealing. Patting at his pockets, feeling the few bills and debating telling Abigail that he’ll catch a ride to Beecher’s Hope, Shirou headed towards the General store, stepping back as the door opened.  A nod towards him and the money that exchanged hands, a smile that told him everything.

“It was hard, Shirou, but I managed.  I got him to buy the meats and pelts that you can John have caught to be bought for a higher price than what the owner originally wanted to pay,” Abigail said, excitement in her eyes.  She carried herself taller with more pride.

“Are you alright?  You seem a little off,” Abigail observed.  “We still have some time, if you want to go get yourself something to drink?”  She reached into the satchel, intent on pulling out the money that she had successfully haggled.

“You don’t have to, Abigail,” Shirou gave a shake of his head.

“A cold drink sounds really good, but I have some money on me and besides, I have a half empty bottle of whiskey back home.”

He wasn’t exactly sure  how much he had left in the small bottle among what clothes that were in the bag, shoved under the bed.  He tried not to let the look of doubt bother him, Abigail hadn’t seen the bottle, so to her, he was lying.

“It’s true,” Shirou laughed at the quirked eyebrow before Abigail sighed.

“If you’re sure, you don’t have to lie to save a few dollars-”

Shirou gave his head a shake, giving the older woman a smile.

“Abigail, I’m sure.  Here,” Shirou pulled out a few of the bills he had in his pocket to show the older woman.

“If you insist,” a skeptical look before Abigail looked down.

For a moment, Shirou wondered if he messed something up, catching the soft sigh before Abigail climbed up into the seat of the wagon.  Tempted to ask Abigail if she wanted him to steer the wagon, but going how the woman’s eyes avoided his.

Climbing up into the seat, Shirou felt like curling in on himself in the silence as they left Blackwater.  The only sounds between them was the creaking of the wagon and the horses as trotted, pulling the wagon up the hill.  Compared to the conversation they had earlier, the silence was strained.

“If you don’t want to be around me,” Abigail began, keeping her eyes on the dirt road and pressing her lips as they crossed over the railroad tracks.

“Don’t you finish that,” his words were out before he could stop himself.  “It’s everything to do with me, Abigail. I love being around you,” Shirou placed a hand on Abigail’s arm.  “It’s just, hard to know that you know how I feel about John. The feelings that I have and that you know about them, how can you not hate me?”

“You’re overthinking this, Shirou.  Your feelings for John doesn’t stop me from liking you.  You may not notice it, but John has changed, for the better.”  Abigail mused, a smile forming at the corner of her lips. “How can I hate you for that?  It’s not like you’re fucking him.”

Shirou froze, trying to clear his throat before giving a laugh that he hoped Abigail bought his laughter as an agreement.  He couldn’t tell Abigail what he actually done to John, that he had sucked John off the first time they had met. Nor could he vocalize that John had helped him get off the night before.

 

“Yeah,” he hummed, turning his attention away from Abigail and towards the road.  He didn’t notice the raised eyebrow and the knowing look on her face.

 

“”Why don’t you come up to the house later, if you’re feeling up to it.  And maybe bring up that bottle of whiskey that you have,” Abigail hinted, pulling the reins as they approached home.  “I may not drink very often, but I think I could go for some of your whiskey.”

“Sure,” Shirou agreed, “though later?  Maybe? I think I just wanna relax.”

“I understand,” Abigail murmured, keeping the smile on her face, “feel free to join us if you want.  You don’t have to knock, so,” she gave a nod towards the house as they pulled up to Beecher’s Hope. “Don’t be a stranger, okay?  You’re more than welcome to join us, you know.”

“I know,” Shirou answered, trying to keep from pushing against the boundaries.  As friendly as Abigail had been, Shirou knew that there was a line he shouldn’t be crossing.  Lusting after John was bad enough, wanting more than just a stolen kiss or two.

“Why don’t you go on in?  I’ll take care of the wagon and the horses.” He offered, going through the motions of removing the harnesses from the horses and setting the tackle to the side.  Leading the horses away towards the pasture behind the barn. Once the animals were settled, fed and watered, Shirou returned to put away the harnesses on the shelves inside the barn before eying the bed with want.

The sun was still out, though not quite as high in the sky as it had been earlier.  Later, he knew, where he could just lay back and hope for a cool breeze through the window.  But for now, he had to push the wagon out of the way, to the empty area of the yard. Giving the wooden wagon a shove, knowing he had just screwed up.

“It would’ve been better if you left the horses harnessed to the wagon to move it instead of moving it on your own,” the laughter in John’s voice.  Shirou narrowed his eyes at the older man from over his shoulder before returning his attention back to the wagon.

“Thanks for the input,” Shirou called out, grabbing the tongue of the wagon and pushing it off the path.  “If you want to help instead of offering such insightful comments, I’d be more welcoming to them.  But if you rather laugh at me,” he didn’t bother to finish his sentence, John moving to the other side of wagon, taking the tongue of the wagon from him.  A huff of breath from the returner to ancestry, the look given him before they both began to push at the wagon.

With help from John, it took little time to place the wagon back into place.  Stepping back, Shirou watched as John grabbed a rock to jam underneath one of the wheels.  

From underneath the brim of the hat John wore, Shirou caught the curl of the man’s upper lip.  Dropping his gaze and looking away, the silence only broken by a few birds and the crunch of dirt and rocks underneath their boots.  Taking shelter underneath the awning of the barn, enjoying the shade, the strike of a match caught his attention. A cigarette that hung between John’s lips didn’t hide the way the male’s lips curled.

Opening his mouth to speak, Shirou found himself with no words.  He wondered if Abigail spoke to John. If she revealed that she knew of his feelings for John.  Trying not to fidget under John’s gaze, guilt eating at him, he made a move to go around John only to be stopped by the feeling of fingers grasping at his wrist.

“I don’t know what went on between you and Abigail today, but she’s a little disappointed,” John commented around the cigarette, moving the item to the corner of his mouth.

Shirou searched John’s face for any hint of what the older man was thinking, trying not to keep his gaze on lips he wanted to taste again.

“She’s hoping that you take her up on the offer to come up to the house.”

Rough and calloused fingertips traced over the skin of his wrist, Shirou struggled to hold back the response his body wanted to show.  The small sound that managed to escape between his pressed lips. Catching the widening of John’s eyes, Shirou pulled his wrist out of John’s slacked grip.

“I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings,” Shirou admitted, his fingers rubbing where John had been touching him.

Shifting from one foot to the other, Shirou lowered himself to the ground.  With his back against the wall, he stretched out his legs. John followed his motion, though partially kneeling to his side.

“If I’m gonna be honest, I think it would just make things uncomfortable.  For both you and Abigail.”

The silence was broken by the heavy exhale of smoke and the chuckle the followed.

“You’ll be fine, don’t worry,” the sharp inhale of a breath and the thick swallow that Shirou could hear from where he sat.

“I don’t know about me though,” John admitted to himself.

Shirou wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear the words, but he let a sound escape.  Now, he knew that such sounds was unbecoming of him. It was only of late that he let himself make such noises.  He knew that John was still coming to terms to a new world opening up for him, coming to terms to seeing things that no one would ever believe unless they experienced it themselves.  So it shocked him that John’s head jerked up at the whimper that escaped, dark eyes that narrowed at him.  Another sound from his chest, low in pitch before Shirou scrambled to his feet.

This was one of the reasons he was hesitant on giving Abigail a definitive answer.  He couldn’t bear for Abigail or Jack to witness when he loses control.

“Ma-,” Shirou coughed, making a move to go around John, “maybe it would be better if I just go into town,” Shirou offered, avoiding John’s gaze.  If he were to just look at the older male, he would have caught the thunderous look on John’s face.

John struggled to swallow past the lump in his throat at Shirou’s words.  He couldn’t stop the flare of jealousy at the thought of the younger male searching for someone to help alleviate whatever was going on with Shirou’s body.

Nearly dropping the cigarette from his lips, John wanted to voice his displeasure.  Just like he wanted to the night before, having gotten lucky that Shirou had come back alone.  He reached out, grasping the male’s hand once more.

“Look, just-”  John pulled his cigarette from his lips, dropping it down to, pulling Shirou down to him, John leaned up.

“Don’t go,” he found himself requesting, almost desperate to keep the younger man from finding another partner.  Even though he had Abigail at his side, married to his wife, he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else touching Shirou

The opening and closing of a mouth, John watched as Shirou glanced away.  Giving the hand he held a squeeze, a faint smile is his response.

“I’m sure I screwed up everything, John.  I don’t know what to do anymore,” Shirou’s shoulders slumped a little.  “You welcomed me in, your family welcomed in.  You let me stay, allowing me to work and help in lieu of rent.  And I just- how-”

A huff of breath, John tightened his grasp on Shirou’s hand when the man tried to pull his hand away.  Ignoring the way fingers trembled against his.

“I just want to belong.  The way your family makes me feel, it makes me want to a part of your family.  Makes me want to protect your happiness,” Shirou gave a self conscious laugh.

John tried not to let the words get to him, that Shirou wanted to a part of his family.  He couldn’t describe the feeling that rose up in his gut and chose to push it down.

“Look, I’m not like this, not at all.  This is all new and I can’t let you find someone else.  You-” John paused, taking a deep breath and refused to just turn away.  “I can’t tell Abigail how much you turn me on. How much I want to just-”

Cursing himself, he couldn’t verbalize what he was thinking about, he wasn’t expecting Shirou to lean in to iss him.  Lips parting under his and the hint of a tongue against the seam of his lips. Catching the muffled whimper that escaped, a hand on his chest that slowly drifted down to his lap.

“Do you know what I want, John?”  Shirou whispered against John’s lips.

“You’ve watched me get myself off.  Watched me fuck myself with a toy. What I want is this-”  The press of a hand against his half hard dick, a sound that escaped from Shirou.

“Fuck me, John,” the hiss of words, a tug at his bottom lip that was on the right side of pain before being released.  The press of a nose against the the underside of his chin.

“Don’t you want me?  Hold me down and just cover me in your scent, cum on me or in me.  Or fuck me?”

John couldn’t stop the sharp inhale of breath, the words leaving him with images in his head, picturing the scenarios.

“Would you like that?”  Teeth against his skin, barely there.

“You have a filthy mouth,” words that tumbled out in shock, heavy on his tongue and though he knew he should just push Shirou away, he found himself pushing up against the hand on his dick, wanting nothing more than just to have that hand wrapped around his flesh.  “You’re gonna have to show me one of these days. But for now, grab that bottle of whiskey you told Abigail about.”

Trying to ignore the inhale of a breath, the movement and rubbing of a nose against his skin.

“Fine,” Shirou said after a moment, lifting his head away.  “Just- give me a few minutes to compose myself, okay? I can’t go up to the house looking like this.”

Tilting his head a little, glancing down to see the bulge in Shirou’s pants.  Biting down on the inside of his cheek, John stood up and held out a hand to help Shirou up.

“If you don’t mind, I would like to watch,” he tried to keep his voice casual but when Shirou snorted out a laugh, he couldn’t stop himself from smirking.

When Shirou calmed down, John leaned in.

“I wasn’t joking.”


End file.
